Remembering Roza
by AM Riots
Summary: Set during Dimitri's change, in Dimitri's POV. He's just remembering Roza as he hears a song playing from a nearby concert. The song in there is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. Thanks for reading. One Shot.


**Wrote this yesterday when I was waiting up to finish my project. Whoo! I guess it's a songfic... enjoy! Read Tutor, if you wish!**

I lay unmoving on the floor of the cave. I knew there was no turning back. It would soon be over. Soon, I wouldn't be able to think for myself. I wouldn't be myself.

I knew what was happening, and it was the reason I was crying.

The last time I could remember that I cried was never. It must have been at a very young age. I hadn't even cried when Ivan died. I was just in shock.

I cried for so many things. Mainly, and most importantly, _My Roza._ I would never be able to hold her again. I would never even be able to see her again. She was so special to me, and after what we had just done, I hoped that I wasn't the only one with a broken heart. I was sure mine was literally broken in fragments.

Thinking of Roza brought up the last memory I had of her. That final glimpse of her I got from under the blonde strigoi.

Those agonizing moments only brought on because of my hesitation. One of my first hesitations in battle, because I wanted to make sure Rose was okay, led to my last as a dhampir. Probably my last ever. No strigoi hesitate, no strigoi even think.

Her agonizing screams pierced my mind over and over. Like a wreaking ball slamming into me, crushing me to pieces. There was so much pain in them. Yet, I was glad her mom had held her back and pulled her away.

Just moments later I had been forced to drink that monster's blood. I didn't want her to see that happen, it would have been too much.

The loud music that had been thumping around for awhile, echoing through the caves, suddenly turned quieter, slower.

I could hear the words clear as daylight, and they were like a wreaking ball for me too, just not quite as powerful as my Roza's screams.

_He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes_

_Started making his way past two in the morning_

_He hasn't been sober for days_

The lyrics were beautiful, but to but something so odd as someone being drunk was odd to me… until the rest of the lyrics poured in.

_Leaning now into the breeze_

_Remembering Sunday he falls to his knees_

_They had breakfast together _

_But two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs_

I felt the meaning in these words. I needed Roza, but I couldn't have her right now. I couldn't have her ever agiain.

_Now this place seems familiar to him_

_She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin_

_She led him up stairs, she led him upstairs_

_Left him dying to get in_

She was always such a tease. I knew she loved me, and that was many of the things I loved about her, but she was still a tease.

_Forgive me, I'm trying to find_

_My calling, I'm calling at night_

_I don't mean to be a bother_

_But have you seen this girl?_

I would bother anyone I could to find a cure to being strigoi, if I still have a part of my own mind, which I probably wouldn't. It was still worth a try. I would go to any lengths to be with her again.

_She's been running through my dreams_

_And it's driving me crazy it seems_

_I'm gonna ask her to marry me_

I was almost going to cry all my eyes out at these words. Rose was always running through my mind. She was my every thought at every moment of the day. It had been that way for a long time now. If it was possible, it would still be that way when I was strigoi.

She drove me crazy just being near her. I loved her so much just her presence sent chills down my spine.

That last line was the hardest for me. On the way back, from the cabin I had been contemplating asking Rose to marry me at graduation. People may not approve, but I did. That was all that mattered, and hopefully Rose would too. But now, I would never know. More tears leaked out when it fully registered for me what was happening.

My life was over. My reason to live was someone who would hunt things like me down. Probably even me.

_And even though she doesn't believe in love_

_He's determined to call her bluff_

_Who could deny these butterflies?_

_They're filling his gut?_

I always wondered if Rose didn't believe in love. Maybe that was the reason she never was fully committed to people, before I came into view. I knew I was different. I had heard stories of her behavior with boys before, and this was definitely completely different. I knew she loved me, I called her bluff.

I couldn't deny my love for her anymore. That's why we had it all planned out. Now, like everything else, that was down the tube.

_Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar face_

_He pleads though he tries_

_But he's only denied_

_Now he's dying to get inside_

_Forgive me, I'm trying to find_

_My calling, I'm calling at night_

_I don't mean to be a bother_

_But have you seen this girl?_

_She's been running through my dreams_

_And it's driving me crazy it seems_

_I'm gonna ask her to marry me_

These words repeated made me sob harder, echoing through the caves.

_The neighbors said she moved away_

_Funny how it rained all day_

_I didn't think much of it now_

_But it's starting to all make sense_

_Oh, I can see now_

_That all of these clouds_

_Are following me in my desperate endeavor _

_To find my whoever_

_Whoever she may be_

_I'm not coming back_

_I've done something so terrible_

_I'm terrified to speak but you'd expect it from me_

_I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt_

_Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair_

_And out of my mind_

_Keeping an eye on the world _

_So many thousands of feet off the ground_

_I'm over you now_

_I'm at home in the clouds_

_Towering over your head_

_Well I guess I'll go home now_

_I guess I'll go home now_

_I guess I'll go home now_

_I guess I'll go home_

There was no home for me anymore. I knew it.

Because, I could feel the last pieces of myself slipping away.

The song changed to one slightly faster, but I hummed the previous song to myself again as I faded away.

My body was no longer mine.

My heart would only beat silently for my Roza, no power over anything.


End file.
